FROM LOVERS to FRIENDS
in many relationships that don't end in marriage (well actually even then), there usually is a time when you have to say "hasta la vista baby." the two of you have shared memories together that when you look back upon, you will either laugh or cry. but whatever that memory might be, once a relationship ends, it's time to say "thanks" or "no thanks" for everything and move on.
but somewhere along the line, there's always the "let's remain friends" compromise to many breakups. it's the much gentler way of saying, "hey, you're not that bad. it's not you. it's me. but look, i still want to be friends with you." *smile* the question that my friends and i discuss a lot is:
can you be really good friends with your ex?
ok. let's face it. whenever there's a breakup, it's usually never mutual. usually one person is the one that causes or initiates the breakup and is labeled "heartbreaker", while the other person is left hurting and dwelling on the breakup for weeks on end. ok. i admit. even the heartbreaker could hurt too, but usually the one who initiated the breakup moves on faster than the one who didn't.(rite?!)
after having meditated and burned incense on this question, my friends and i have come to the conclusion that NO, it's very rare for many people to become truly good friends with their ex's.
take me for example. although my ex and i agreed that we would be good friends, we're really not. sure, i get a greeting on my birthday or whenever there is a function about me and i just greeted her on her birthday, but those are about the only times we actually communicates to each other. and i actually prefer it this way. i'm sure she and her somebody now does too.
However, i have a friend whose become best friends with his EX instead.(WOW!) Yes. it's true. it can be done. but, when your ex is your best friend and you tell your best friend things about your current relationship, hmm, you could land yourself in a heap of mess.
so why can't ex's remain friends?
here's some reasons i've read on why the can't:
- there's always a heartbreaker and the heartbreakee. same as mentioned above.
- bitterness comes into play. an ex can pretend to be a friend, but deep down they'd rather see you and your current partner dead (jk).
- jealousy. seriously - who really likes seeing their ex being lovey dovey with someone else anyway?
- of course, u don't really have to share
CAN YOU BE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX?
you guys tell me.
